my dember (sorry na, yun yung pinapakinggan ko eh)

23 days to go before christmas! At dahil diyan, mag po-post ako ng tagalog entry. Okay okay, alam kong walang koneksyon ang choice of writing slash typing language ko with the yuletide season. Patawarin niyo na ko, ang lamig kasi eh. Oo, wala ding koneksyon yun!

Ramdam na ramdam ko ngayon ang December (unlike last year), siguro dahil na rin mas malamig ngayong taon. Ambilis ng panahon, 11 months ago, December 2006 lang, ngayon December 2007 na. Madaming nabago at nangyari sa labing-isang buwan na nakalipas. Pumayat ako, tumaba ulit, nagpakulay ng buhok, nawala ang kulay ng buhok, nagpakulay ulit, sumayaw sa DL Umali ng tatlo lang kami, nakasayaw sa stage ng Baker Hall na naguumapaw kami sa dami, nakasayaw sa UP Theatre sa Diliman, naka "m.u" si *beep*, napagtantong mahal pa din si *beep* kaya iniwan si *beep*, nakalimutan yung dalawa, nakilala si *beep*, nadevelop sa kanya,minahal siya,pinilit limutin, pero walang nangyari. Ang hindi lang ata nagbago eh malamig pa din ang pasko ko. Hindi malamig na dala ng ginaw, kundi lamig na dala ng pagkukulang sa pagmamahal. Sabi nga sa isang quote na tinext sakin (sorry na, nakalimutan ko kung sino nag send,pero taos puso akong nagpapasalamat sa pagpapa-alala sa akin na nag-iisa ako, leche! joke lang)

"heartbreak does not come from the fact that you're alone whilst everyone has someone to be with, it comes from the fact that despite the billion people living in this world, no one loved you back.."

Okay, next topic.

Napakasama kong bata. Walang kokontra, bata pa ko, nineteen pa lang ako mehn. May ilang buwan pa ko bago tumungtong palabas sa mundo ng pagiging isang tineyjer. Pero pwede kayong mag affirm na masama ako, huwag niyo lang i "in your face" sa akin. Haha. Pero totoo, binalewala ko ang mga payo ng matatanda na huwag sunugin ang baga ko, na huwag gawing dilaw ang atay ko. O gets niyo na? Kung hindi pa, eh di good. Nattandaan ko pa noong medyo bata-bata pa ko't nakanta ng "Laklak" habang gamit ang walis tambo bilang isang gitara.

"nagsimula sa patikim-tikim, pinilit kong gustuhin..bisyo'y nagsimulang lumalim, kaya ngayo'y kayhirap tanggalin.."

Totoo pala lyrics nung kanta, kung sino ka mang nagsulat niyan, buhay ka pa ba?

Totoo yung sinabi ko kay Roy nung isang beses na naglalakad kami papuntang Raymundo gate. Na ngayon lang ako "nagsimulang maging college student". Makalipas ang humigi't kumulang na dalawang taon eh ngayon ko lang naranasan ang mag apartment (natural, malapit lang naman talaga bahay namin sa elbi eh). Ngayon ko lang naranasan ang magising ng puro kagat ng lamok at langgam. Ngayon lang din ako nakaranas ng maubusan ng pera, kumain ng okoy bilang pananghalian, umuwi ng maaga, gumising ng madaling araw, lumabas ng apartment ng mga alas tres ng madaling araw para mag yosi, uminom sa kalagitnaan ng linggo, at kung anu-ano pa. Marahil delinkwente ako para sa iba, pero pagbigyan niyo na ko, tao lang ako. Haha! Kaylangan kong maranasan ang mga ito. Hindi naman pwedeng matapos ang buhay ng tao na wala siyang kinakaing madumi diba? Tsaka, mas marami pang mas masahol pa sa amin. Haha.

Alas tres na pala ng hapon. Lunes na ulit bukas, dalawa lang naman ang klase ko pag Lunes. FIL20 kay Sir Dumlao ng alas diyes ng umaga at HUM2 ky Sir Yambao ng 2:30pm (okay,nahirapan ako itagalog yun). Pagakatapos noon ay pwede na akong mag proven kasama housemates ko, habang inaantay ang calltime ng training sa Baker Hall. Woi, balita ko champion ulit ang UP Diliman's UP Street Dance Club sa Skechers Year 3! Congrats! 3 wins! Grabe kayo, kami naman! Haha!

Wala na akong masabi. Meron pala, kaso natatakot akong pag sinabi ko yun, baka magbago ang lahat ng meron tayo (kung anumang meron tayo, hindi ko din alam).

wasted

I'm nursing a really big hang over right now. I think I should write something called "A Midweek Midnight Empoy and Icebreaker Session", then hold open auditions for the characters, stage up a production in the DL Umali Hall, and maybe even sell it to ABS-CBN for it to be materialized on the telly as a teleserye, whatchathink? I wish it was that easy. I wish everything is/was easy.

You make me happy.

i was so close

You see, I was this (emphasis on this) close to finally getting over you. Okay, maybe not so; but I'm really getting there, I think. How do you do it? How come you break my heart every so often without you doing anything, neither realizing it?

i'm an expert at playing safe and keeping cool

Many things better kept unsaid. I intend to cut the seriousness of this blog after this sentence so start laughing and smiling with me in three, two, one. LOLs.

So it's day whatever in our own version of Big Brother and now I know how it feels to have room mates (more like house mates really, 'cause they occupy my room while I sleep in my mom's bedroom). Everything's cool, although I miss having my room to myself. Haha. I miss my "alone" time with my DVD and television set (not what you're thinking, pervs!). Most especially, I miss being alone. I guess that's one reason I have not written anything serious or of caliber (as if I write THAT good) because I usually scribble stuff when I'm alone and doing nothing. Ideas usually cloud up in my head during the wee hours of the morning, however recently, all that's clogging my head are the snickers and bickering the guys and I do till dawn. Haha, semester's about to start and I pretty much will miss having company here at home (contradictory to what I've typed above, right?).

Sigh. When will I have the courage to tell you how much I love you?

Oh, i got tagged by ighen so i'm gonna do the seven stuff stuff. Haha.

7 Truths about Me

1. I only learned how to ride a bike during summer vacation before my college freshman year. Exact date was April 16, 2005.
2. I know how to drive and even have a student's license but I'm not so much into driving because I'm terrified of road accidents.
3. I'm a walking cheap-thrill. You can bring me to any side walk food stall and enjoy a "meal" of isaw, balut, proven, and kwek-kwek!
4. Jologs ako. Haha. I watch jologs movies and even use some jologs lines. Haha.
5. I'm a John Lloyd Cruz and Bea Alonzo love team fan. Haha.
6. Top crushes? Mariel Rodriguez, Toni Gonzaga and... (Tisa will surely react to this) Kris Aquino!
7. Lastly, I'm definitely in love. Haha.

Haha. I'm not gonna tag anyone to do this 'cause I'm sure every person in the blogosphere has done something similar to this. This is just for killing my time. Haha.

Gotta go back to Tree Hill now. Haha

The past weeks have been busy and exhausting, and at the same time, fun and fulfilling. I recently performed (more like "nakisawsaw") in a coffee shop gig and was quickly followed by a 12 - hour taping for this dance competition in one tv show. Grabe. Ang hirap, pero masarap yung feeling. Haha. It's like I'm finally living my dream. I just wish my academics would not suffer like it did during the last couple of semesters. Haha.

I really really would like to tell you all the things running through my head but I can't seem to put them into words.

Eh pano ko makakapag-isip ng ayos kung ikaw lang ang nasa isip ko..?

the heart wants what it wants

I've been staring at this flat screen monitor for quite some time and I haven't got a single idea on what to write. Argh. I've been itching to blog for two days (thanks to smart bro's stoopidity eh wala kaming net connection sa bahay). Forgive the ramblings, nawala ako sa mood magsulat so pasensiya na. I'll let the fingers do the work na lang. Bahala na. So here goes...


Whew. Three more exams and my semester's finally, finally over. I have to give props to myself for being more disciplined (oh really, now). Haha. No, seriously, even if I parteeeyed more this sem, I DID strive hard for my grades, of which I am really proud of. Let me take this moment to cherish the fact that I got an 83 out of a 90 point exam in Humanities 1. Okay, okay, no big deal right? Uhm, it is for me, kasi si BUCOY lang naman ang professor ko doon. Haha! On second thought, bitter ako kasi may naka 86. Amp ka, kung sino ka man. Haha. With regards to my other subjects, uhm, wala lang. Okay, tinamad na ko magsulat about my academics. Sorry na..


Pop question! DO YOU THINK CHRIS IS "EMO"??


Nothing really. I was just taken aback with some comments I've received from a friend/ some friends na "ang emo ko lately". Haha. Define EMO. Wala na namang sense 'tong sinusulat ko.


Hay. Okay, wala na kong maisip. Sorry naman.

It's a good thing the sem's about to end. Sana makalimutan kita.


Kahit sembreak lang.

three cups of coffee and still going

I'm supposed to busy myself tonight by studying for an exam in microbiology (9am tomorrow,err later) and by doing two papers for Bucoy, which are both due 4pm tomorrow (later). Unfortunately, I was born lazy, so, my apologies to the unfinished notes and the still empty papers. Vicious cycle, I dare say. I always start the semester all excited, hyped up, and even super "bibo" with the thought of achieving good grades; but for some reason, I almost always slack off come middle of the term. Inconsistency. Haha.

i hate it when you smile so innocently.i hate you for gliding in and out of my thoughts.i hate it when an image of you pops into my not-all-the-time-functioning brain and just cause distraction.i hate you.i hate you for unconsciously making me fall in love with you.

I really should study now. ;p

rain can fall now.

for you, still..

sleep is where i get to spend time with you.
dreams excite me knowing that you'll be mine, even just for a little while.
that was then.
now i fear sleep.
for if i sleep, i would need to wake up; and waking up means parting with you and getting back to the reality that you'd never be mine.

or i could choose not to wake up, and get trapped in my dreams of you and me; forever.

I'm simply amazed with how your hand fits perfectly with mine. What amazes me more is the chance I had to be with you; for our walk way home was unforgettable. Dinner was great, as usual, much thanks to your "trying hard" antics to make me laugh after flunking an exam. I love you for that. As if on cue, winds started howling the moment we decided to go home. Cold,definitely; but the warmth coming from your hand as it held mine was enough to keep me warm. This walk towards home was bound to be special, I just knew it. Yes, maybe because this would be our first official walk as "us", and not just "me" and "you", but I was expecting something else. Halfway towards your place, rain fell. It's as if the heavens decided to let it rain just so we could be closer and hold each other tightly as we prance around the now muddy pathway. I have never been so childish in my life, and yet I've never been so in love also. We reached your door and that warm embrace I've been wishing for came about. I felt weak and vulnerable; and yet your warmth gave me strength and assurance that everything will be fine. and then came the kiss. The kiss that slowed down every drop of rain falling from the sky; the kiss that made the howling winds sound like a lullaby; the kiss that made all the stars twinkle despite the thick clouds and immense rain pour. Our lips parted and before I could even utter a single word..


the sound of my alarm clock awoke me..

i just can't stop thinking about you..

let alone stop loving you..